


Operation Wilted Maple

by sperrywink



Category: Spy (2015), due South
Genre: BAMF Women, Crossover, F/M, Only sort of a due South crossover, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 23:45:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5311628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sperrywink/pseuds/sperrywink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Susan saves the day, and gets a date with a Mountie. Title and some story details from the end credits of the movie. Other shout-outs from due South.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation Wilted Maple

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lynnmonster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynnmonster/gifts).



“Get out of my way, you fucking red coats!” Susan yelled as she barreled through the Mounties. Hands grabbed at her, but she swatted them away until she was in the clear, and could really put on speed. Sure they had been some, small help in saving the Prime Minister, but these same yahoos had let the suspect escape. Goddamn it, she really needed to do some endurance training or cardio or some other fucking shit. Her lungs felt like they were on fire. Puffing hard, she gritted her teeth and pumped her legs faster, until she could dive for the open door of the airplane as it raced down the runway.

Right after she got a good grip, another set of hands appeared next to hers, and she turned to the left in surprise. The youngest Mountie on the Prime Minister’s detail, the one with the cute, wavy hair was right next to her. As the plane took off, she yelled, “What the hell are you doing!” He just grinned at her.

Deciding to worry about him later, she’d rather be inside the plane after all, Susan swung her body with the momentum of the turning plane allowing her to swing into the fuselage. She rolled like a bowling ball in the gutter lane. Man, how did Fine make this shit look so graceful? She yelled some shits, fucks, and more creative curses when she slammed into the side wall. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. The other fool was still hanging off the side of the plane, and it had just banked hard in the other direction. 

Oh my god!

She scrambled to her feet, and rushed to the other side, fighting the harsh wind. Luckily she could still see his fingers holding on. Frantic now, she noticed the bar above with some lines clipped to it. Huh. This plane must be used for parachuting. She hastily clipped herself to one of the flapping lines, and reached around the side to grab the Mountie’s forearms. Yelling, “Come on! I got you,” she tugged on the Mountie, looking into his face. 

Huh.

He didn’t look scared. In fact, he looked downright exhilarated. What a fucking weirdo. 

Nodding at her, still grinning like a loon, he let go of the plane and grabbed her arms before he had slipped too far. She heaved a big breath in relief, and pulled with all her might. They both fell into the plane, him landing on top of her hard.

All the breath left her lungs as his weight slammed into hers. Now her lungs were really on fire. No, really, she needed to breathe! Oh my god, why couldn’t she breathe! She could feel her eyes bugging out, and she began slapping the stupid Mountie on top of her.

He looked at her in concern, and then blushed fire red, and scooted off her, pulling her into a sitting position by one of her flailing hands. He began pounding on her back, which was not helping her breathe at all. She slapped him with her free hand, and thankfully he stopped to instead rub soothing circles on her back.

This finally got through to her stupid brain, and she took a huge gulp of air. He was the one who heaved a big sigh of relief though, which was odd.

He asked, “Okay, now?” he was awfully close to her face, and was staring deep into her eyes. 

Before she could rip him a new one, from behind them towards the cockpit, another voice said mockingly, “Yes, are you all right now? I wouldn’t want to kill you both without a fighting chance, now would I?”

The Mountie startled, but stood up remarkable gracefully, not even holding onto the side of the plane as he stood at attention. Seriously, how did these other guys make this shit look so graceful? He looked like he was standing on solid ground! Even the evil, bad guy was holding onto the bar for balance, although his other hand with the gun was steady. As the evil, bad guy’s minion joined them from the cockpit, Susan’s heart sank. He was huge.

As she rolled to her knees, and stood up gingerly, the Mountie helped her. Which, huh, how chivalrous. He then stood back at attention and said, “Owen Bolt! You are under arrest by the Dominion of Canada for treason, kidnapping, arms dealing, conspiracy to commit murder, carrying an illegal concealed weapon, grand larceny, petty larceny, and jaywalking.” After his speech, her look of disbelief wasn’t the only one directed at the idiot Mountie.

Wanting to get some time to figure out a plan, and unable to hold her tongue, Susan exclaimed, “Are you out of your fucking mind, you fucking, admittedly gorgeous, Canadian Ken doll? You’re concerned with jaywalking? What are you going to charge him with next? Littering? And really, how do you get your hair to do that? It’s like that fucking song about amber waves of grain. It’s all blond rippling in the wind, or some shit. You should be on a harlequin cover.”

Luckily this evil, bad guy wanted to talk too. Before she could say anything else, and boy oh boy, was she only getting started, he gave a fake belly laugh, and said, “You are a fool, you know. My uncles told me about your fathers. Do you know how we could have changed the world with a nuclear submarine? We could have brought these bastard governments to their knees! Ruined, all of it, by your fucking fathers! My uncles spend decades in prison, all because of them! And now, I get to take their son away from them. It’s poetic, don’t you think? I just wished I had time to make you truly pay for what they did.”

Susan had already made note of the fire extinguisher, one of her favorite weapons, and she really wished she could signal the Mountie for a distraction. The evil, bad guy then nodded at his minion and with an evil grin, said, “Tie them up, there is time for a little fun, perhaps.” 

Like he was reading her mind, as the minion got close enough, the Mountie suddenly dived towards the minion and the open doorway yelling, “Turtles!” He grabbed one of the flapping lines as he and the minion disappeared out the opening.

In her mind she was praying he could hold on, and wondering who the hell yelled about turtles when jumping out an airplane, while the rest of her was diving for the fire extinguisher. The next twenty seconds were madness. She sprayed the evil, bad guy with foam, who then started firing wildly as it got into his eyes. She yelled, “Take that, motherfucker!” and then, “Stop shooting, dammit!”

Luckily most of his shots went high, and when she realized that, she tackled him into the cockpit, which thankfully knocked the gun out of his hand, and which unthankfully made them fall on the yoke, causing the plane to dive. Seriously, what was it with her and diving aircraft?

She grabbed hold of his hair, and thwacked his head back into the yoke once, hard. His eyes rolled into his head, and he slumped boneless to the floor. She’d heard of glass jaws, but who the hell had a glass skull? She couldn’t believe she had taken him out that easily. She thwacked his head against the instrument panel a couple more times just to be sure. Nope, he was out cold. She slumped on top of him in relief. Then scrambling off him she pulled back the yoke, evened out the airplane's flight, and set the autopilot. Now it was time to see if the Mountie was still alive. God, she hoped he had made it.

Rushing to the doorway, she could see the Mountie dangling below them, hanging from the line by the buckling on his uniform. He had the audacity to give two thumbs up and grin at her, like they had had a plan or something. Muttering curses to herself, she began reeling him in.

Once inside, the Mountie pulled her into a hug, and yelled, “You were magnificent! Let me tie up Bolt, and we can fly home.”

Too stunned by the hug to stop him, she let the Mountie press a hard, quick kiss to her mouth, give her another brilliant smile, and then stride over to the evil, bad guy, undoing his bondage wear to tie him up, which seriously Mounties wore that shit out in the public, what was that about? Shaking her head to clear it of thoughts of his bare, strong arms straining against leather, she watched as the Mountie finished his knots, and settled the evil, bad guy in the fuselage. He bowed to her, and waved to the cockpit.

She found herself laughing, reluctantly charmed. He laughed too, and held her hand gently to seat her in the pilot’s seat. As she settled in, and started piloting the plane, she took a side-eye glance at the Mountie. He looked calm and collected with hardly a hair out of place, although with all those waves, it was easy to hide the windblown tangles, unlike her hair.

The Mountie beamed at her again, and looking out at the clouds in front of them, said, “I know I have been forward with you with the kiss and all; adrenaline, you know.” His thumb rubbed his eyebrow.

Susan’s smile dropped off, but the Mountie didn’t seem to notice. Lead settled in her stomach. If she had looked like Karen Walker she bet he would be singing a different tune. The Mountie finally spoke again. “I do hope you will let me take you to dinner.”

She wanted to roll her eyes. Another fucking thank you dinner that meant nothing. Unable to keep the bite out of her voice, she said, “Dinner, really?”

Now, finally, the Mountie looked upset. “I know you must get proposals all the time, but I really do hope you will listen to mine. If dinner is unacceptable, maybe over lunch?” He looked at her face, his face falling even more. “Drinks?”

Susan’s mind was still stuck on his word choice. He couldn’t mean what she thought he meant. She wasn’t going to take this kind of treatment anymore, though. She said, “Forget the drinks, go back to the proposals. What kind of proposals are we talking about? You didn’t propose.”

“Well, of course not. I’m not a cad. That’s what the dinner is for.”

Susan blinked first. He acted like he was serious. Her mind fizzled to a blank with this turn of events, and she said, “I don’t even know your name,” as she stared at him, feeling a bit wistful.

She didn’t know how, but the Mountie seemed to straighten up to be at attention, while still remaining seated. “Constable Noah Fraser-Kowalski of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, at your service.”

“Susan Cooper, at your, ah, service too.”

The Mountie nodded. “Ah, right. You’re not actually Dorothy Witherspoon, sleep consultant. Of course not. You’re too resourceful and professional for that. Are you Canadian Security Intelligence Service?” 

“American CIA, actually.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him rub his eyebrow again. She asked, “Is that a problem?”

“Well, it isn’t for me, I would of course follow you anywhere; I had just hoped to stay on Canadian soil.” He looked down, and a small frown appeared, before he straightened up again with determination in the set of his shoulders. “Dad followed Papa to Canada, which was a big adjustment for him. I can do no less.”

It suddenly hit her. He wasn’t kidding. Was he out of his mind? “Oh my god, you’re totally serious. You haven’t even proposed yet! You can’t make life-changing decisions now; we’ve just foiled terrorists and hijacked a plane. It’s the adrenaline!”

“Again, that is what the dinner is for, but in reality, I knew you were the one when I saw you save the Prime Minister with a neck pillow turned garrote. Such daring resourcefulness! Made me think of home. I’m just waiting for you to catch up and say yes.” He smiled sweetly at her, and looked hopeful.

Without thinking, her gaze caught in his royal blue eyes, she said, “Yes,” and he beamed like sunshine at her. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling back, and they stared at each other like idiots until the plane started beeping at her, and she jolted, remembering where she was. Turning back to the instrument panel, she began her descent onto the runway. She was thinking it was crazy, and he was crazy, but it might just be worth it for the dinner date alone.

In a reminiscing voice, Noah said, “Dad will be a bit disappointed we didn’t have to jump out of the plane without a parachute, he never lets Papa forget about that when they tell their story, but I think he’ll still appreciate our tale.”

“You did jump out of the plane!”

Noah replied, “But not untethered,” but he was laughing when he said it. Susan broke out into a huge grin, as she laughed too. What a trip this Noah was. One thing to say for sure, life with him would never be boring. Side-eyeing him as she stopped the plane, she thought she might just say yes to everything.

**Author's Note:**

> I really do hope you are one of the people who has a fondness for old fandoms, instead of someone who breaks up horribly with them. It just made so much sense as to who would grow up to appreciate all of Susan's awesomeness.
> 
> In my mind, Noah was adopted by Ray and Fraser around 1998 when he was ~10, making him in the range of 28 to 30 when he and Susan meet. So younger for sure, but not a youngin.


End file.
